I wish it was something easy like a spider I was afraid of. It was explainable. It is not that easy to say even. Every time, I drive I am scared. Every time, I walk down an empty lane I am scared. Every time, someone brushes past me in a busy street or an empty one , I am scared.
It is not a feeling that passes away, it stays there in my gut, reminding me that I am not as strong as I want to be. I am a 20 something girl, that can't go out after 8 because she knows the crowd is bad.
I don't wear provocative clothes, I don't drink, I don't do drugs or anything. Even if i did, does that makes it any less of a crime when something happens to the "liberal Independent women". No one deserves to be treated like a piece of meat that can be chewed upon.
I am a regular girl. Since the word girl comes, I suddenly become a piece of meat someone can grope or pass comments on. It is something everyone of us experiences. The lewd comments. The endless stares. The olging.
I just wish I felt safe. I don't want to be paranoid of every touch, the innocent look that someone gives. I am not a lunatic, who looks at everyone and sees their enemies. I look at men, the unknown faceless men, that are at every corner and I feel my blood drain because someone would be that guy who will look at me funny and a shiver will run down my spine.
I am not asking for death penalty, I am not asking for people to give me protection. All I am asking is I don't want to be scared anymore. I want my mother not to worry about me when I am five minutes late from the usual time I come. I don't want to be scared when a vehicle stops near to me and I freeze.
I am asking for a little acknowledgement that women wish for female foeticide than to live in a country where breathing makes you a rape victim. I wish that I am not scared anymore.
Scared to live, scared to move, scared to ask. Just plain scared.
It is not a feeling that passes away, it stays there in my gut, reminding me that I am not as strong as I want to be. I am a 20 something girl, that can't go out after 8 because she knows the crowd is bad.
I am a regular girl. Since the word girl comes, I suddenly become a piece of meat someone can grope or pass comments on. It is something everyone of us experiences. The lewd comments. The endless stares. The olging.
I just wish I felt safe. I don't want to be paranoid of every touch, the innocent look that someone gives. I am not a lunatic, who looks at everyone and sees their enemies. I look at men, the unknown faceless men, that are at every corner and I feel my blood drain because someone would be that guy who will look at me funny and a shiver will run down my spine.
I am not asking for death penalty, I am not asking for people to give me protection. All I am asking is I don't want to be scared anymore. I want my mother not to worry about me when I am five minutes late from the usual time I come. I don't want to be scared when a vehicle stops near to me and I freeze.
I am asking for a little acknowledgement that women wish for female foeticide than to live in a country where breathing makes you a rape victim. I wish that I am not scared anymore.
Scared to live, scared to move, scared to ask. Just plain scared.
